:: wo ye hen xiang ta ::

PH IS PISSED

2010-06-22T18:34:00.003+08:00

Oops, PH is pissed.
no lah~ just sad and hurt.. right PH?!

haha!

actually, the 最沒資格講她的人should be me and mel lah~
we 2 also ~~so fat~~ big sized and eat a lot.

sorry pH!!!!

we love u~! <3333

OMG, i just wrote such a 13-year-old tWiT blog post.

TO THE MDC PEOPLE

2010-06-18T15:36:00.002+08:00

since i'm using the office mac, here's a post in chinese.

我要出國了。
有點捨不得,卻也不想留下來。
真的好想回到以前在mdc的日子。
任何事情都好想很容易解決。
任何事情都有同事兼朋友幫忙解決。

想想,真的很難得。
是同事也是朋友。
多少人真的可以做到這樣？
我想只有我們可以。
這份友情真的應該好好珍惜。
相信我們將會是一輩子的朋友。
一輩子接受、包容和原諒的好朋友。

這陣子在新的公司裡使我發現了這一點。
最快樂的時光就是能和家人朋友在一起的時候。
可是在這裡沒有家人也沒有朋友。
不像以前沒有家人但有朋友。

常常作弄pH說她肥肥胖胖的。
說她減肥不會成功的。
一直提醒她還欠我三杯豆漿。(pH, it's officially announced already.)
常常笑melissa是一粒大草莓。
常常作弄cailing尖尖的娃娃音。
常常笑elaine的bimbo moments。

以前我最不喜歡別人亂取外號。
但我們在一起的時候大家都以外號相稱卻不令人討厭。
反而是多了一份親切感。

我想這群人已經是我生命裡不可缺少的了。
少一個都不可以。

:)

VERY HAPPENING

2010-06-15T19:08:00.002+08:00

the past week has been very happening. fulfilling.
let's go thru the events that happened.

met ah cai on tuesday to watch karate kid. it's a very good show.
so i suggest, watch it.

went for jocelyn's last-day-celebration at the $10 ktv.
sound system was kinda sucky.
random people came in to complete dares.
random china people.

then came the day the results were being posted.
nervous. what if i don't get in. what if i do?
in the end, i did get in. with ah cai!
wonderful wonderful start of the day!

left for work and decided on the way that i should quit already.
so the letter went out to the boss.
refused to stay. i need more time with my parents.
since it'll be 4 years away from them.

that same night, chalet!
i love mdc chalet! not exactly the place, but the people.
we're like family, forgiving each other for all our flaws and mistakes.
that's why i love you guys so much.

k-lunched on sat, and then went back to take a nap while the rest of them went out.
i love the bbq! my mama made sambal! :D
a lot of leftover food though.
proud of the fire we started, lasted for a very very long time.

watched the killers after the bbq.
stupid horrible movie.
other than ashton kutcher's body that is.
a not funny comedy. don't watch it.

wild wild wet on sunday. there was not much sun.
and it rained too.
but shifu and i got sunburnt anyway.
sad huh.

karate kid (again) on sunday.
love that movie. but jump cuts and conty issues all over the place.
luckily it's only visible to people who has watched it once before.
but still, great show!

monday had me sleeping all the way from 1pm to 6pm.
then i left to meet rachel.
thanks for the gift and thanks for the treat!
and of coz, i loved the company. :D

so, i'm leaving.
in 2-3 months time.
i don't want some funky unusable farewell gift.
i need a laptop since mine is down.
i'm accepting $10-$20 donation for the caryn's laptop fund.
of coz if you want to donate more, that's fine with me too.
if some kind soul decides to buy me the laptop, then i'll use the collected money for my school fees and air ticket.

thanks everyone!
i love you! :D

TO MY 16 YEAR OLD SELF

2010-06-03T13:58:00.002+08:00

Dear Caryn,

16 years old, it's a wonderful age to be in. enjoy it.
and seriously, don't bother liking weiliang.
not that he's a bad guy. but you'll just be wasting your time.
3 months in TJC just becoz he's there. it's pointless.
coz you'll end up in poly anyway.
and the thing is, after being in poly, you'll forget all about him.

pls be very careful where your heart goes.
don't give it to someone whom you know will never, ever be yours.
fairy tales do not happen in reality.
so quit dreaming.
i've been thru this fairy tale for years and in the end, i was heartbroken.

well, at least that's the bad side of it.

the good side.
i have a fairy tale to remember.
although it hurts, i have to say it's one of the most fond memories.
so i guess, it depends on yourself.
do you want to live happily without memories, or always carrying this bitter-sweet memory with you?
choose wisely, whatever it is.

this bit on friendship will hurt a bit.
rachel, nina, lydia, graf-d will disappear the moment you graduate.
they're all jc students while you will become a poly student.
nothing in common to talk about.
and your love for the chinese language heightens tremendously.
so even conversing becomes a problem.
rachel will go on to uni doing law.
nina goes back to america.
lydia goes to australia.
basically, you'll have no friends from ahs once you get into poly.

but not to worry.
although you feel really skeptical about friendships already, the people in poly will always be around.
people like lihui and kk. they'll be your friend for life.
in fact, they will become one of the most important people.

during your poly years, your brother will get into a major fight with you.
and being the very obstinate person you are, you refuse to forgive him becoz he doesn't apologize to you.
you will always bear this grudge.
even till 6 years later, you're still not talking to him.
although you know you have already forgiven, you're still not talking to him becoz every little thing about him is pissing you off just becoz he still haven't apologized.
you know you shouldn't be so petty as an elder sister, but you just can't help it. and i understand that totally.

soon after poly, you go straight into the work force.
big reputable company.
and there, you'll meet very special people.
people whom you think will forgive you for all your flaws and sins.
and these people in fact, will also become the most important people of your life.
that's becoz you're slowly learning how to accept people into your life.
and the happiest times of your life is having them around.

don't don't don't ever quit mediacorp just becoz sheau mann pissed you off big time.
lie low. hate her. make voodoo dolls but don't quit.
coz honestly, the new company will make you want to go back so so badly.
you'll put the group photo of your mdc colleagues on the table so that you'll feel more comforted.
seriously, becoz the new place is totally not the place for you.

however, if you don't come into this new place, there are things you won't learn and people you won't meet.
one special person will always pull you up no matter how hard you fall.
this special person becomes an infatuation and makes you believe you're out of the hurt you've been holding in within you.
but actually not. eventually, he becomes like an elder brother whom you can talk to.
although not often, but he gives the sense of security that you need so badly.
he makes you believe in yourself, in life.
he changes your perspective and you learn to respect and enjoy more.
and most of all, he makes you believe that someone will be there when you fall.

after years of zero contact, eva asks you out again.
and she will be the one who'll always be with you with you need somebody
so be nice to her. :D

in the end, it'll be up to you whether you want to continue in my footsteps.
pros and cons really.
so do make the right decision. :D

love,
23 year old caryn

DEAR BLOG

2010-05-26T16:59:00.000+08:00

dear blog.

i am here because i am bored.

that's about it.

JAPANESE

2010-05-12T11:40:00.001+08:00

i am re-learning japanese.

JAPANESE

2010-05-12T11:40:00.000+08:00

i am re-learning japanese.

郭富城

2010-05-10T08:54:00.003+08:00

郭富城was great!
thanks bifeng!

his stage was incredible~
almost magical.
now i understand what he meant 450 degree spinning stage.
it truly was. it even had water out of no where.
the stage was worth the money.

and well, i thot i only knew 3 songs.
turns out i knew slightly more than 3.
just that it didn't come to my mind.

and the truly amazing thing.
we were sitting so far away yet we could see the 45-year-old's abs.
he could sing, dance, do gymnastics all at the same time.
wow.

HURT

2010-04-26T16:56:00.002+08:00

there are some people whom i hurt.
not on purpose but i usually only realize it the moment after i did it.

i didn't mean to flare up but i was really worried.
and i didn't know you were in some shit yourself.
i didn't mean to play a prank, just thought it might be fun.
but you ignored me after that.

i didn't mean to shout at you but i had my headphones on.
and i felt so bad when i saw your expression.
i didn't mean to pressure you just that i really needed that.
but i failed to see the hours of hard work you have to put in.

it's not that i don't care.
i always felt that these are the people who'll forgive me for whatever wrongs i did.
but i guess i have been wrong all these while.

JC STUDENTS DESERVE PRIORITY

2010-04-15T22:28:00.001+08:00

sometimes I wonder what is wrong with certain people.
what does he mean by jc students deserve priority?!

true that poly students might be more disadvantaged at getting a place in uni.
but that does not justify the reason for inequality.
jc is supposed to prepare these kids for uni.
as mentioned in his article, jc was previously known as pre-university.
but these kids, in their bid to make it to uni (becoz an a level cert has zero value), just memorize their way through their 2 years of life.
if that is the kind of thing to do to "deserve priority", then I'll say a jc student should never get a chance in uni.
becoz they will be wasting the next 4 years of their lives memorizing their way through.
whereas a poly student would have already learnt a skill and will be able to further improve.

mr lee's argument implied that becoz jc students' a level cert is useless, therefore they should get priority.
well, that is not an excuse.
if my gpa in poly is 3.5 and your results in jc is DCD, why should you be given priority? just becoz you only have an a level cert?
don't be ridiculous.

everyone should be given a fair chance at education.
why should a poly student be discriminated against?
it's no longer like 30 years ago whereby jc means the best, poly the average and ite the losers.
going into jc, poly or even ite can be by choice already.

5HRS OF SLEEP

2010-04-15T16:10:00.003+08:00

seems like i've been averaging 5 hrs of sleep per day for the past 2 weeks.
basically means since the time i came back from taipei.

anyway, i am very very tired and grumpy now.
food doesn't cure it. blah.

JALAN KAYU

2010-04-11T00:39:00.002+08:00

Food at jalan kayu isn't exactly the best, but the company was awesome!
There were the always-got-see friends, sometimes-got-see friends and long-time-no-see friends.
Which was great!!

Getting home from jalan kayu was quite a hassle though.
Or at least we thot so until we realized the lrt station was just there.
Just that we've never actually realized that before.

So it wasn't too bad in the end.
Therefore, not-so-good food, forgiven.

PLS WATCH MONGA

2010-04-08T19:03:00.003+08:00

ok, a proper review of Monga.

1st. thanks ah cai for the gala!
zhao you ting is not photogenic.
so, for those how thot he looks good on camera. :)
think again.
and ruan jing tian look like he walked out from a super A-list mag.

2nd. the story is good.
i like the story of childhood and adulthood.
huge contrast.

3rd. niu cheng ze did a damn good job.
the ambience, pace and acting was great!
the change from adolescent to adult was shown not only in the story.
but also in the ambience.
never expected the change to be apparent in the ambience and mood.

so all in all.
pls watch monga.

MONGA

2010-04-07T11:20:00.000+08:00

i'm in a super grumpy mood today.
for no apparent reason.

SHIT.

anyway, monga is good.
watch it people~

THE CRAZY WEATHER

2010-03-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

the weather dropped.
from 30 to 18.

AND I DON'T HAVE MY JACKET WITH ME!

ALONE

2010-03-22T12:03:00.002+08:00

一個人旅行, 也許更有意思.

yes, i am travelling alone.

i thought i'd be bored.
but i'm actually feeling quite fine.
i get up when i want to.
i go back when i want to.
so it's all about me.

quite comfortable actually.
and the best thing.
I GET TO SLEEP!

HAHA!

THESE DAYS

2010-03-18T10:35:00.004+08:00

alice in wonderland was great! love it!
but it was a little not up to expectations.
it was great, but i expected more than that.

these days, i have a crazy crazy appetite.
5 full meals per day should be an absolute no-no.
but.
it's happening.
i get hunger pangs every 3 hours.

i'm leaving for taipei soon!
3 days to be exact!
OMG~ it was only last month that i decided to fly.

1st time on a plane alone.
1st time in taipei alone.
scary. but so exciting!
love it!

PONDER

2010-03-09T23:47:00.002+08:00

My head hurts from excessive thinking.
It's simply amazing what one book can do to me.
Especially when it's one that makes me ponder.
Not think, PONDER.

ENJOYMENT

2010-03-08T10:17:00.000+08:00

good book, good munchkin, good company, good food.

ah... life.
such an enjoyment.

until, i came back to office.

OH WELLS

2010-03-01T23:46:00.002+08:00

i wished i saved up more.
now i'm regretting it.

without enough money, nothing much can be done.
just like how i need a new laptop but don't have the finances to get it.

it's getting very irritating that many service centres open only during office hours.
mondays-fridays 9am-5pm.
how am i going to get my stuff fixed?!

my hard disk is kinda dead, but i can't send it for repair becoz i'm working.

i hate cockroaches.
they disgust me. and make me feel dirty just by looking at them.

oh wells.

i wanna buy a new book called 旅人。
read the 1st few pages just now while waiting for ah cai.
and it made me want to read more.

紅線is kinda boring me.
it's kinda technical that's why it's boring.

but i like 九把刀's writing.
very connecting and real.
like the moment you read it, you'll understand exactly what he's going through.

oh wells.

i'll see what i can do.

PLS PRAY

2010-02-26T01:23:00.002+08:00

SHIT!

really need to go 拜太歲！

tmd my mac motherboard and graphics card and driver got problem.
then my ipod cannot charge.
and now just after i backup-ed everything from my mac to hard disk, my hard disk SPOIL!!!

which means, all my shows, pictures, songs, documents and backup files are all GONE!!!

WTF?!?!?!?!?

THIS WEEK

2010-02-21T22:03:00.004+08:00

being on leave is quite the same.

i'm still very very tired.
but it was so much better coz i was doing something else.

那是重點。哈哈！

oh and i was so pissed off with jetstar.
but it's all solved now.
so i'm fine.

city alive was ok.
it was actually a lot neater than what i expected.
and after talking to the organizers, well, i guess some things just can't be helped.

the party itself wasn't that great though.
just ok.

mcdonald breakfast was awesome!!

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE

2010-02-15T00:35:00.002+08:00

CNY this year is rather special.

there wasn't a whole bus load of people.
but it was a whole lot closer.

and for some strange reason, i gambled willingly.
just sat down and threw my money in.

:D
and i'm happy about that!

it's been a year since i met my not-so-immediate cousins.
yet we still sat together and played as if we lived together.

it was special.
and i loved it!

THE GREAT WEEKEND

2010-01-26T19:12:00.002+08:00

the weekend was great! with the mediacorp girls!!
finally the 9 of us are present~ *smiles*

it just feels so good to be with them.
pls have a chalet soon! then we can all stay tgt~
and let's go WWW again~

then i went to a forum talking about foreign talent and new citizens.
not that i didn't enjoy it.
just that, i didn't agree much with their views.

oh wells.

WITHOUT THEM

2010-01-21T20:06:00.003+08:00

these people are gradually becoming friends.
i wonder what i'll be without them.
just like how i was when i leave mediacorp.

as i slowly get used to things here and friendships forge.
not only between the colleagues and interns here.
but also the freelancers from all over the place.

i wonder, what i'll be without them.

THE S11

2010-01-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

money seems to always be the problem.

feels like no matter how i save, the numbers on my bank book doesn't go any much higher.
ever since the taiwan trip in 2008, i've been overspending.

but now, even without overspending, the amt isn't going up either.
so. where is my money?
hmm...

INTUITION

2010-01-11T01:08:00.002+08:00

learnt a lesson today.
intuition - very important~
especially for females.
always always trust your intuition.

i thot nothing will go wrong today.
but i kept having a very uneasy feeling about the shoot tmr.
and yes.
klik forgot to bring the camera back to office for tmr's team.

intuition. works all the time. :)

WHEN STUPID THINGS HAPPEN

2010-01-08T08:50:00.002+08:00

it hasn't been a really hectic week like it was previously.
and because it hasn't been, i took this time to go out and re-stock.
but boss isn't really happy that i'm doing that.
oh wells.

it's not as if i like going out on errands.
it'll be great if i didn't have to be the one in charge of these!
i'd much prefer just doing crew schedules.
but someone has to do it right~?

blah.

anyway, i found out something quite stupid about citibank.
why is there no one at the branch who can tell me about edu-loans?!
FUCK!
it was such a wasted trip.
not entirely wasted coz the guy at the info counter tried very hard to help me.
but he is not the edu-loan specialist.

edu-loan specialists only calls and emails.
they do not meet people.
crap!

COACH

2010-01-03T21:06:00.003+08:00

coach carter is inspirational.
he reminds me of huang yi qiu.
but of coz, huang yi qiu was less inspirational than him lah.

coach carter and HYQ has something in common.
and that is their undying passion and utmost respect for the sport they play.
both of them isn't concerned only about the sport.
they are both concerned about their players too.

10 years ago (that's a long time), i met HYQ.
we used to find him naggy and irritating.
why does he have to bug us about training everytime he sees us?!
we're national champions, can't we have a day break?!

but just after i didn't play competitively anymore, i realized.
he wanted us to excel and not be too proud of our achievements.
the best players need more training than anyone else.
he wanted us to be the best and so we had to go through those gruelling times.

it's just what coach carter did to his boys.
he wanted them to excel.
not only in the sport they love, but also as a person.

it's the kind of respect and passion for the sport and the sportsmen that makes these people so inspiring.
and i love them for that. :D

CHRISTMAS

2009-12-25T00:59:00.003+08:00

christmas week.
lotsa stuff happened and going to happen.

the nicest PA left. last day was 23 Dec.
our tmvc christmas party, everyone gave him a toast.
we're all going to miss him.
i sent him an sms to thank him for the courage and confidence he gave me.
and his reply was "haha, jia you!"
such simple words, yet so touching and important to me.
i doubt i'll delete that sms anytime soon.

christmas day, nina's birthday!
happy birthday nina!
i miss having you around! blah.
and how we camwhore at the airport. haha...
never camwhore so much ever in my life.
i tend to do such things when you're around. haha!

the day after christmas, celia's birthday.
happy birthday!
i wanna go pulau ubin with my cousins!
but i don't think i can. coz YEC needs my help.
oh no! but i promised already! shit!
nvm, i'll decide when the time comes.

27 dec is the last of my tutoring days at brilliant minds.
phew. it's been a full year of tuition.
i like tutoring there actually.
but i can't continue coz my job at tmvc really zaps up all my energy.
i can't deal with 2 jobs this way although it's good to have that extra cash.

28 dec back to work.
SHIT! i just thot of something! crap!
ARGH!

and yes mr chrispher lee~
meet up soon! arrange with celia too~
haha...

TIRING

2009-12-17T22:19:00.001+08:00

this is tiring.

CLICHE

2009-12-09T09:22:00.002+08:00

saw this article by Lydia Kwan on MSN news. i wonder how she got her position as a writer. and i also wonder, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE EDITOR?

read this:

"Chinese TV drama clichés

#10 - Someone gets hit by a car while arguing and crossing the street You’ve got the guy running after his love interest, and she’s just across the street. Most likely, there’ll be a bouquet in his hands and a big grin on his face. As he crosses the street, there will always be a car appearing out of nowhere, ready to hit him at high speed. As seen in: Burning Flame II

#9 - The good ones get cancer or a fatal tumour If you’ve been given the role of the kindest soul in the series, you know you’ll be the first to die in it. Typical. As seen in: Healing Hands

#8 - Someone dies in someone else’s place You’re about to die? Here, let me take your place so you can go on living without me. Oh, the noble human spirit – someone good always dies in place of another. Never fails to shed a tear. As seen in: Burning Flame II

#7 - There’s always a harbour sceneFrom breakups to proposes and even hair-raising courting scenes, you’ll never miss the sea view in these shows. From Singapore to Hong Kong, there is just no way can the whole series live without some good old salty sea breeze. As seen in: Moonlight Resonance

#6 - There's always an all-out gambler While gamblers hail from all across the globe, these Chinese money-warriors take the plunge and (usually) lose it all in Macau. As seen in: Instinct

#5 - There's always a loan shark on the hunt for the all-out gambler Well, every story needs a moral, right? Here's one hard lesson waiting for 'em money-warriors. As seen in: Instinct

#4 – Tacky romance scenes never die off Hero and heroine spend the night on the grass, watching the meteor shower or fireflies dancing in the moonlight. Horrible CGI too, might we add! As seen in: Meteor Garden

#3 - Couples do not talk facing each other Before the waterworks, couples in the pre-breakup conversation always talk in different directions. Can you even hear what the other guy’s trying to say? This drives us insane! As seen in: Meteor Garden

#2 - There’s always a taxi anywhere, anytime You can be at a warehouse an hour away from the city and at 3:00am. One hand up in the air and a cry for a cab, and voila! There’s your ride home. As seen in: Square Pegs

#1 - Mother-in-laws are living demonsThere’s always some family drama, usually disapproving the love lives of their kids. What comes along are diabolical plans to break the lovers up – oh, the drama! As seen in: Meteor Garden"

now...
the meaning of cliche: a phrase which has been used too often and has become meaningless.

realized she only gave 1 show for each "cliche". pls give at least 5 for each to call it a cliche.

and even if it is a cliche, it's not as if english shows don't have cliches can. and i'm sorry to say that i feel english shows degrade love coz they seem to equate love with hot steamy sex. how superficial... well, get an av model then. the picture would be a whole lot prettier. :)

and the writing style. felt like she despise chinese shows or rather asian shows as a whole. she's chinese isn't she? alright then, despise yourself. i bet she can't even introduce herself in proper chinese. blah.

and seriously, being a scriptwriter, did she think it's super easy to write a story and make it touch people's lives? did she just insult the scriptwriters?

oh and look at #10, the one about crossing the streets. 1st she writes about having an argument and crossing the road. then she says he'll most probably have a bouquet of flowers and a grin on his face. AREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO BE ARGUING? what the hell is she writing?!?!

I'M THE COORDINATOR

2009-12-08T12:20:00.002+08:00

i am a bit pissed with some stuff.

if you absolutely need to take something, pls tell me!
if you absolutely need to do something else, pls tell me!

idiots.

oh, and if you need something, don't tell me half an hour before shoot!
i can't make it appear out of thin air!

GET IT DONE

2009-12-04T10:45:00.001+08:00

when something has to be done, it has to be done.
it doesn't who does it, it just has to be done.

if no one will do it, i'll do it myself.

PLS DO NOT DISTURB

2009-12-02T09:45:00.000+08:00

恍神中... 請勿打擾...

WELL

2009-12-01T01:11:00.002+08:00

well.

erm, well.

erm, yeah, well.

erm, yeah, hrm, well.

ok, i should stop this.

something is going to come out from my mouth.
but i have no real intention of saying it here.
oh wells.

LIFE IS FULL OF RANDOM SHIT

2009-11-23T23:19:00.003+08:00

i guess i'm slowly getting used to life in tmvc.

and now i'm really worried i can't find a grip!
SHIT!
to make things worse.
I NEED 2 GRIPS!

somebody pls congratulate me.

and to make things even worse.
I'M OFFICIALLY SICK. YES. SICK. WITH MC.
but i'm still working.
wah raoZ~

my nose is so blocked i can't even taste the sweetest papaya.
wonderful.
i'm going to get coffee oreo tmr.
I DON'T CARE!

I WILL SURVIVE

2009-11-14T02:06:00.003+08:00

did something stupid which resulted in a horrible chain reaction.

apologizing isn't enough anymore i guess.
saying sorry once, people can forgive you.
but if i keep making stupid mistakes and then saying sorry, people won't like it too.
sorry is no longer useful.

oh wells.

just like what i told idah and chin loong and kek huat and chie ling and peihui and elaine and xinru and celia and cleo and whoever else.

I WILL SURVIVE!

SURVIVE

2009-11-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

really, maybe i'm really not suitable.
everything seems so easy on paper.
all i have to do is get crew, settle equipment.
that's basically it.

but why do i get the feeling that it's so difficult!
crew are getting unhappy with me because i can't confirm them.
equipment is getting messy because i'm not familiar with them.
just like what she said.
it's been a month.

SHIT.

anyway, a guy fainted on the pavement just outside the coffeeshop.
ivan said "oh, someone fainted"
chin loong said "oh, yah."
caryn thought "OMG, are we all on candid camera or gotcha?"

NOPE.

that guy really fainted.
or worse, maybe he died.
the ambulance came and the medics had to perform CPR.
they even had to stick a breathing tube into his mouth.
finally after 10 mins, they decided they should proceed to the hospital.
and they were still cpr-ing on the ambulance.

i hope he survived.

i will ~~try to~~ survive too.

MAYBE

2009-11-05T21:49:00.001+08:00

it's been a month.
but yet, the more i'm doing this, the more demoralized i get.

maybe i'm really not suited for a job that requires me to bargain.
maybe i'm really not good at being friends with others.

maybe i should change my job scope to PA instead.
they're having so much fun!

INCONSIDERATE

2009-11-03T09:27:00.001+08:00

some people are just plain inconsiderate.
i'm tired and i wanna sleep on the bus.
not hear your stupid techno trance music blasting.

wah raoz~

pls go deaf soon.

FOR THE SAKE OF BLOGGING

2009-10-27T20:08:00.001+08:00

OMG! i haven't blogged in more than a week!

ok. here's some updates.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i dunno what to say.

IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE...

2009-10-17T21:04:00.002+08:00

ever since the day i started my new job, life isn't the same anymore.
it's unbelievable!

i'm there for 8 days already.
but i still feel like i'm so far away from the rest of them.
and becoz i'm so distant from them, i don't talk much.
and i get depressed when i don't talk!

yes, i am feeling very very depressed.
so much so that i want to go back to mdc.
at least everything there is familiar to me.
even if the boss suck, and everything else suck, at least there's someone to bitch with me.

and ya know what, in mdc, everyone's doing the same thing.
i can cover for them, they can cover for me.
here, no one else is doing the same thing as me.
i'm not like those PAs or producers.
everyone there is a PA or producer.
they have someone to fall back on or ask questions.
i don't!

in mdc, when i'm bored, i can just look at some interesting news and turn around and "OMG! did u see that news?!"
and someone will talk to me.
here, i can't. i see a news and turn around and everyone's doing their own work.

in mdc, everyone speaks chinese.
here, everyone speaks english.
it's hard to find how can speak decent chinese like ah cai and chieling and xinru here.
the only time i get to speak in chinese is when i speak to the freelancers.
coz they're generally my dad's age and chinese educated.
they are so english i bet they don't know who mayday and energy and zhang hui mei are.

SHIT.

but i told myself, i'll commit at least one year with them.
at least. no matter whether i like it or not.
after that, i'll probably head off to study.
maybe camera works and stuff and then come back as a PA or even a producer.

but i guess, i might really like it there.
it's rather cosy, just that i really don't like my seat.
it feels like... joyce's seat. free for everyone to see.
hate it!

ok, yes, back to my depression.
i think it's a i-miss-my-mdc-mates syndrome.
i'm starting to hate lunch.
or hate food in general.
whatever goes down my throat, i feel like puking it out.
actually, i feel disgusted by the smell of food now.
and sometimes, i don't even feel the least hungry.
the only thing that goes down well is water.

thurs and fri, i bought some bread back to office for lunch.
i bought 2 bread per day.
but i can only finish one.
ended up throwing the other one away.

gosh, if yall got mdo, pls come eat lunch with me!!!
thanks!!!

CHANGE

2009-10-13T09:30:00.002+08:00

wah lao! the last time i blogged was 29 sept.
WTH!
i have so little time... :(

ok. i'm officially out of mdc.
but i start missing everything and everyone (ok, not everyone) the moment i got to my new job.
the mdc colleague/friends pic is now comfortably sitting on my desk.

my new job is not bad. environment not as comfy as mdc though.
like toilet. it's so tiny and i realized they don't have the sanitary pad bin.
great.

food is a problem. coz if it rains, we're going to have a bit of trouble.
we don't have a canteen ya.

oh, and we have phillipinos here.
a bit weird for me coz i've never interacted with phillipinos before.
but i like hearing them speak english.
it's so... graceful.

and it seems to be an english speaking society here.
so from the cheena ppl, i need to switch to the ang moh ppl.
wah rao eh!

it was a bit of a cultural shock to me that there's not hard hierachy in here.
we used to have the "i'm boss, so u listen to me" rule in mdc.
but not in here.
u're free to say anything and give any suggestions.
so everyone's on quite a comfy level here.

haven't gotten to know the ppl.
and my ppl relations isn't exactly the best.
so yeah, it'll take time.

5 MORE DAYS

2009-09-29T19:56:00.002+08:00

i'll be gone in 5 more working days.

goodbye everything and everyone!

i dread that day actually. imagine all the tears i'll shed.
OMG.
if not for her, i wouldn't really think of leaving this place!

throughout the 2.5 years here, i've forged strong friendships with my colleagues.
and even more unbelievably, i'm going to miss seeing and hearing

these AEs: jun, adzahar, lionel, albert, liana, jennifer, chantal, aida, firdaus, mia

and these radio people: chong qing, ivy, janeal, zhiyong, di cong, TG, morni, dhora

and these canteen vendors: meifeng, her mama, the malay stall auntie, the tidbit stall china woman, the charsiew jie jie and uncle

and these foods: murtabak, prata, bee hoon goreng, sambal fried rice, yong tau fu, laksa, duck kway teow, sotong ball, hotdog bread, sardine puffs, claypot rice, chicken rice, claypot ee mee and horfun...

and these other random stuff and people: the gym, the music room, the way my phone rings, my always-got-problem computer, andy, "excuse ah.", the picture-taking lift lobby, the toilet, my pass, my seat, the random joyce-and-cailing english vs chinese conversations

and most importantly, the people who are now part of my life: melody, ah lian, shifu, ah cai, the strawberry, tai tai, xing-joo, ah meh~

*sniffs* i feel like crying already. :'(

THE LETTER

2009-09-14T20:08:00.000+08:00

i'm tired of everything happening in the office.
so much so i won't argue anymore.
whatever i'm told, i do.
becoz we're all robots.
programmed with a start command but no stop command.
we'll just keep going till the battery dies.

i am very tempted to send this to AC in it's whole entirety on my last day.

"dear boss,

today is my last day with this company.

there are a few things i would like to highlight to you in order to let you know the plight of my fellow colleagues who are still struggling to survive.

as you know, there are times when we stay in office till late. sometimes as late as 3-4am and yet we're made to come in at 8.30am or 9am in the morning depending on our staggered hours. if we don't, we're labelled as chronic late-comers by our immediate higher power. i believe you know we don't have OT pay, neither can we claim time off. also to highlight, we cannot claim taxi fares when we leave office even at wee hours in the morning and taxi fares are very expensive now.

of coz, this might be a measure taken by the company to prevent people from falsely claiming whatever they shouldn't be claiming. but it's rather obvious we're still doing our job at those ungodly hours. and so you know, we have a life and family. at 6.30pm, we would rather be on the way home to have a precious dinner with my family or going out to catch a movie instead of working.

which brings me to the next point. i felt that some of these late insertions and cancellations and shiftings ought to be rejected. for example, citibank's schedule is not endorsed and their using spots from an expired pkg. yet, shifting citibank's spots into Class prime time for the next day (which essentially means rescheduling class log), was allowed at 7pm. we end work at officially 6.30pm.

the reason that the shifting was allowed was becoz we have to "support sales. when the client is happy, they buy more. the more sales we get, the bigger our bonus." at our age, pls understand that a bonus is an additional bonus. we do not need bonuses to feed an extra mouth. all we want is to gain experience, learn and be treated as human, not robots.

i understand that higher management does not want mistakes. but has it ever occured to any of the higher management that we are not supernatural beings. we cannot put our concentration on our job for 18 hours a day without having enough sleep and having so much pent-up grudges in us.

pent-up grudges is my next point. as per our immediate supervisor, we cannot show our emotions whether we're happy or sad or frustrated. this is becoz our emotions will hurt other people unknowingly. i guess, that might be how things worked when the policemen were still wearing shorts. but it's now year 2009 going on 2010. things change, people change, the entire community changes. we're exposed to more ideas and do not think the same way as how people think in the 1960s. we need people to be true to their emotions and given the right to express. being direct is a whole lot better than subtle sarcasm. and it's definitely not very nice having words stuffed into our mouth as well.

another point i would like to bring up is the fact that we are given different instructions for the same thing. due to the huge diversity of possible scenarios that can be present in radio advertising, SOPs are not very useful since we can be given different instructions according to the different scenarios. and yet, when something goes wrong, it is once again, recorded as mistakes made by us, and us only. it is getting very confusing when we can follow the SOP and when we can't. or do we have to ask for instructions for every single question that we have. this is precisely the reason why i always make myself look stupid by asking someone for advise even though it's written in the guidelines or SOP because the SOP cannot be trusted wholely. and to make matters worse, we can be given different sets of instructions by the same person for the same scenarios which i think is the most ridiculous.

finally, my reason for resigning. i do not take insults. by saying that we're not serious in our work is the biggest insult in my entire working life. if we were never serious in our work, we would never stay so late just to finish up and come in at 8.30am to complete whatever that's left. and going on to mention that our work is difficult, not like those factory packers, just packing some things, getting some money and leading a simple life, that has brought things further than it should be by insulting our country's fellowmen who are also contributing to our economy. insults was the trigger and made me confirm that i didn't make a wrong decision to leave.

i do understand that things can be said and yet interpreted in another way. but the abovementioned is exactly how i felt for the past few years that i've been here. i felt like we were employed as robots for the company, subject to zero compassion and insults.

with this, i sincerely hope that something can be done to help my fellow colleagues who are still in this dept and those who will be joining this dept thereafter. just so you know, we really do not wish to leave this dept because we are so closely knitted to one another and this has become our comfort zone. but due to the above circumstances, it seems like we don't have much of a choice.

yours sincerely,
Caryn"

phew~ if i have the courage, maybe sending to LC would be a better choice.
HA!

3 BIG THINGS

2009-08-30T21:01:00.000+08:00

almost nothing happened. just damn tired for the past 2 weeks.

3 big things happened.

1. i cut my hair, totally changed my hairstyle.
2. nina flew away.
3. yec. OMG.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY

2009-08-11T09:56:00.002+08:00

it was a happy national day this year!
hopefully i didn't make a wrong decision joining kovan yec.

we had an observance ceremony on national day morning.
sang the national anthem, said the pledge.
just like the times back in school.

then we went to the ark stations for our bonding games.
gosh. sorry guys, i'm heavy...
played rock climbing from the flat side of the wall.
played trust fall, how i hated that.
i will never commit suicide by jumping off a building.

the national day parade this year was wow.
i was watching from home and my favourite part of it all was definitely and undoubtedly the pledge moment.
everyone saying the pledge together, it was so...
i was so touched i almost cried.

but i think maybe they could do something like saying the pledge in the 4 different languages.
that'll be so cool. :D

I NEED A NEW JOB

2009-07-29T20:08:00.001+08:00

i need a new job.

like NOW!

生日快樂

2009-07-21T16:17:00.000+08:00

生日快樂.

THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE

2009-07-17T17:02:00.002+08:00

i didn't read the book.
and i didn't think the movie was fantastic.
which goes to say, it's quite lousy.

it's not like the 1st show. i can watch that many many times.
it's not like the 4th show. i love the emotions and cinematography.

when i saw dumbledore die, i just "oh. so he died in this instalment."
zero emotions there.

the humour made me wonder what's wrong with this show.
it's funny, yes, but, harry potter is NOT a comedy!
neither should it be something that popped up from a romance novel.

and ginny is taller than harry!
i OMG-ed at that.

but there's a good thing about this show.
it's making me anticipate the next instalment.
what's going to happen without dumbledore around?
OMG!
and no, i will not read the book.

english books gives me headaches.
whether i like it or not.

CHIMPS AND HUMANS

2009-07-15T12:56:00.003+08:00

watched a documentary yesterday on the differences between chimps and us.

we look quite alike actually.
but there are 3 things that are different, according to the docu.
1. our jaw muscles
2. language
3. co-operation

fine, i agree with 1 and 2. duh.

but the experiment for point 3 that they carried out is totally off the point.
the experiment showed a 18 month old kid helping someone pick up stuff.
but the kid was hoaxed by her mother to pick it up for him.
so it's not "willing" co-operation.
but they claimed that humans have this ability to co-operate without personal gains.
=.=

the next experiment was with chimps.
they put some food in a tray outside the cage.
by pulling a string, the chimp can pull the tray over and get food.
then they tweaked the experiment in such a way that now, the tray requires 2 chimps to pull the tray over in order to get food.
so chimp 1 and chimp 2 pulled the tray over but the dominant one gets all the food.
then they repeated the experiment and the weaker one refuses to help.
and from this experiment, they claim that the chimps refuse to help each other when there's nothing to gain.

humans are like that too!!
if we teammates and we're supposed to do a project together, and everything ends up as my job while you get all the points, i will never help u a 2nd time either.

ok. so with that, we're all chimpanzees and not humans.

EARRINGS

2009-07-08T12:04:00.000+08:00

i wanna make and sell my own earrings like ms cola did.
but where do i get all the necessary items?

do people sell the hooks individually?

hmm...

PASSED

2009-07-04T13:55:00.002+08:00

i thot i was going to fail...

but no!!
i passed!!!
YAY!!!!!!

the tester was nice enough to not give me that immediate failure.
he didn't penalize me for that!!
wootZ~~

now, i can drive officially!

but now that i can drive officially, i do not have a car.
i'm thinking of renting a car for some car rental agent.
then get my dad to sit beside me and teach me more.
especially parking.
my dad is a pro car-parker.
and i wanna park like him~ hahaha!!

:D

A-MIT

2009-06-29T11:05:00.002+08:00

almost all of amei's new songs are rock.
i used to think all rock songs sound the same.
and i used to only listen to rock songs when i'm sad or angry.

BUT.

all the rock songs in her album sounds different!
even with almost all the same lyrics!
and OMG. her voice.
makes her songs so un-sing-able for the normal people like you and i.

and i love it!!

why am i not in taiwan now????
grr... she's probably running around taiwan for her promos lah~
roar!

I JUST REALIZED

2009-06-26T11:55:00.002+08:00

OMG!
i thot SP and MZ were the pair-to-be since they're so close.
seriously, doing everything together.
during the sec 1 welcome party, SP and MZ did this:

coach: alright, get into 2 groups and stand in a line.
SP and MZ were standing 2 persons away from each other.
SP: i want to stand with MZ.
MZ: yah, i want to stand with SP.
SP and MZ came together and grabbed each other's hands.

so i thot they were the pair-to-be.
BUT!

i just added ML on facebook and she's with SP!!!
8th anniversary last year or maybe 2 years ago.
which means, they were together since i was p6!!!
so SP would never be with MZ!

btw, SP, ML and MZ are all my seniors.
and i used to think SP is cute and his friend R is shuai.
hahahaha~~~
and since they're always appearing together, it's always eye candy day during training.

ah... how cute.

SINGAPOREANS OUT OF SINGAPORE

2009-06-24T15:38:00.003+08:00

there are reasons why i do not like to bump into singaporeans on holidays.

1. our language
to me, it's ok that we speak our language aka singlish in singapore.
but when we're out there in the big big world, i do not like it when people recognize us by how broken our language is.
true that it's our culture to mix english with our mother tongue.
and i believe that is what many people from other parts of the world do too.
but our problem is, we not only mix english and mother tongue to cover our lack of vocabulary. we change the entire sentence structure in the process.
which means our language becomes incorrect and "broken".
and to me, it's disgraceful when people recognize us by this kind of language and not becoz of our accent.
true that taiwanese speaks very weird english.
and they do try to act smart by adding english into their language.
but at the very least, we recognize them by their accent.
and not by the incorrect sentence structure.
comparatively, i will prefer being taiwanese than singaporean if that's the case.
at least my sentence is correct.

2. singaporeans are quite spoilt.
i guess singapore is almost the only place that has uncles and aunties clearing the tables in mcdonald's for us.
yes, jobs are created in the process.
but the people are also spoilt in the process.
in taiwan, people clear their own tables. they even separate items into recyclable and non-recyclable.
and some singaporeans who go overseas do not clear their tables after them becoz they still think that there will be uncles and aunties to clear up their mess after them.
irritation.

3. we are the kiasu singaporeans.
everything must be the best, be the first.
in the end, no one is gracious.
rushing and pushing and squeezing and shoving to get into the mrt.
great.
doing that when people are queueing up orderly.
make us look very very ugly.

4. we are kings and queens
becoz we are constantly showered with a little too much praise, we get a little too proud.
and becoz of this, we sometimes forget that other people have their own culture and their own lifestyles which might be different from us.
but that doesn't mean that we can just do things our way.
whatever it is, we're in someone else's land so we shouldn't insist on our ways of life. it's just rude and disrespectful to do that.

the above just shows how much the society has improved, but also how much each individual deproved.

it's saddening to see such things.

I'M BACK FROM TAIPEI

2009-06-24T14:45:00.003+08:00

taiwan was so fun!! loved it!

but it was definitely tiring.
walking and walking and walking.
shopping and shopping and shopping.
salon pas was my bestest friend then...

going to taiwan was like... 重遊舊地.

from day 1 till the day we came back, there were some 經典事件..

peihui's 經典:
"pilot sit in front or sit behind?"

o.O hahahahahahah~!!!

ah cai's 名言:
"我肚子餓了."
"可以吃飯了嗎?"
"好餓..."
"我要吃... 啊...."

o.O hahahahahahah~!!!

and of coz caryn's 口頭禪:
"我的腳很痛!!!!!"
"ㄛ... 好痛..."

hahaha!!!

my one greatest disappointment in this entire trip was that i didn't get to trek up 陽明山...
becoz of the stupid rain. -.-
why did it have to rain so heavily?!?!
it's crazy!!

it rained for the 5-6 days we were effectively there... >.<
wonderful.

but that didn't really dampen our spirits much.
just grab an umbrella and walk loh.

OH!!!!
i bought my books already!!!!
romance of the 3 kingdoms. OMG~ i'm so hooked on that story.
i even bought poker cards and took picture of a 關羽 coral sculpture.
LOL!

and i bought another 3 music books.
thick.
but there're so many so many songs!
i will get my sustain pedal and make myself learn to play those songs well.
in fact, i already bought my sustain pedal on ebay.
just hope they wouldn't cheat my money and send it to me fast.

in the entire trip, we went up 2 tall places.
taipei 101 and the miramar ferris wheel.
OMG~ the ferris wheel is so wow!! transparent cabin!!
loved the view from up there.

淡水 was the most calming place.
just hear the waters, look at the sunset and feel the breeze.
pictures taken there were very pretty coz it was sunset.

shopping was not bad.
2 tops, 1 pair of shoes, 5 books, 1 bag, 1 pair of sunglass, 1 cap.

yay!!!

and yes, i was mistaken as a taiwanese again.
and i'm proud of it.

ah... i wanna go taiwan again.
this time from trekking and hiking and scenic places like hualien.
best is to go during spring when they have the flower festival up the mountains.
YAY!!

BLOG = GOOD

2009-06-11T12:16:00.001+08:00

one day memories will fade and all we have left is words on this page.

DON'T WE JUST LOVE BLOGS?!?! :D

EVERYTHING HAS 2 SIDES

2009-06-08T14:31:00.002+08:00

is there a point in being so adamant about commenting on someone else?
it doesn't make much sense to me.
i have my own views, you have your own.
i can't stop you, neither can you stop me.

for all you know, you are just a nobody to me.
just like for all i know, i am just a nobody to you.
as long as everyone's happy, living their own lives, right or wrong, then why bother commenting so much on the "right" or "wrong" in your opinion?

it's almost like saying this:

"iron hand is wrong because it takes away freedom and rights."

but do you know how right iron hand is in a country overwhelmed by riots and war?
i do not like iron hand method, but it's effective.
so is it "right" or "wrong"?

in a capricorn world, there are only black and white in our values.
we hate grey areas. but is there a choice?
something that works for you might not work for me.
so is it right or wrong?

every right and wrong boils down to human interpretation.
a person kills an animal because he has to feed his family.
yet a vegan says why destroy a life?!
how would you interpret that? is that right or wrong?

there are no definite answers to every question.
just like there's no clear definition of right and wrong.
so there's no point judging to an extent of making yourself look stupid.

WHEN THE SUNFLOWERS BLOOM

2009-06-05T18:18:00.002+08:00

after a very very long time, my blog has a new face!
like finally~

it's a simple skin.
yet it took me millions of hours to complete.

actually, it's not complete yet.

i don't have much time to go through the links.
so some links might have been stale and rotting since eons ago.
but heck.

:D sunflowers~

MESSY MESSY

2009-06-04T18:39:00.001+08:00

sorry for the mess...
i'll clear it up soon...

BAD ATTITUDE

2009-06-04T14:19:00.002+08:00

ok, it's proven.
i do have a bad attitude.

but sometimes, it's just to get things done.

more importantly, DO NOT WASTE FOOD.
whatever is bought, finish it.
otherwise, don't buy.

poor african children are starving not becoz they want to.
but because they don't have a choice.
we can't help them by finishing up our food.
but as a respect, finish up your food.

TEMPORARY

2009-06-03T16:51:00.000+08:00

temporary switch back.
something's not right about the other one.

740

2009-06-01T11:27:00.001+08:00

i just realized that although i started blogging since years ago, this is only my 740th post.

that's very very little.

JOBSCOPE

2009-05-26T15:45:00.002+08:00

a big company problem: jobscopes are always unclear.

Tom wants to get something done.
Goes to Dick. Dick says that's not part of his job, check with Harry.
Tom goes to Harry. Harry says it's not his job, check with John.
Tom goes to John. John says it's none of his business, check with Ah Meng.
Tom goes to Ah Meng. Ah Meng says it's Ah Seng's duties, check with Ah Seng.

in the end, Tom gets irritated and does things himself.
from then on, that job becomes part of Tom's jobscope.

sounds familiar?

A NEW JOB

2009-05-26T11:10:00.002+08:00

i want a new job.
or rather, i need a new job.

i wanna be an artiste manager.
bringing the artistes run all over town.
plan their activities.
arrange all the logistics.
MY WAY.

it's an even more no life job.
but that's life to me.
artistes are more interesting and happening than commercials.
like duh.

it's going to be more tiring.
but artistes are worth the fatigue more than commercials are.
like duh.

if i can, i wanna go to taiwan.
live and work there.
wow! what a life.

H1N1

2009-05-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

GREAT. JUST GREAT.

Taiwan got 1 H1N1 case.

how wonderful.

SOMEONE THOT I'M ANGRY WITH HER

2009-05-11T16:08:00.003+08:00

let's talk about the day a certain someone thot i was angry with her.
she cried and i laughed at her. HAHAHA~

the best part was, i knew nothing about it!

all i remembered was i went to the conty with cailing.
when i came back to office, i got a call from xinru.
xinru said the certain someone said i was angry with her.
so they lied and said yes i am angry with her.
and xinru told me to continue to be "angry" with her.

i kept laughing.
immediately after i put down the phone, elaine called and told me the same thing.
so i pretended to print something out, and walked over.
while i passed by her table, i didn't look at her coz i knew i'd laugh.
but becoz i didn't look at her, she thot i was really really angry with her.

to make matters worse, xinru went over and told her:
"caryn ask you if there's anymore late coz she don't wanna talk to you le."
LOL!!
after some time, xinru came over and told me "she's crying..."

so i went over and stood at her table and "HAHAHAHA~" at her.
haha... it's so funny!
it should have been the 1st day of april.

a little evil of me to be laughing at that.
but it's so funny! XD

SWINE FLU

2009-05-04T12:38:00.000+08:00

if the flu hits taiwan, will we still be going???
hmm...
i guess i would. just be a little more careful.

ah... stupid pigs.

oh, stupid virus actually. :X

INNER STRENGTH

2009-04-23T17:33:00.002+08:00

although you're probably crumbling inside, you appear to be fine.
small setbacks seem to make you cry more than huge ones like this.

and there's nothing i can do for you.

OVER THE WEEKEND

2009-04-20T11:16:00.002+08:00

i'm burnt.
and i did put sun block ok... grr...

any parts of my body that were exposed to the sun is now RED.
call me a lobster.
and it hurts! especially my knees and shoulders.
but it sure was fun!

friday night, went to watch shinjuku incident.
well, not that i watched it entirely. more like sit through it.
for people who loves gruesome shows like saw, maybe you can try this show.
but i hate it so i sat in the cinema with my eyes closed.

quite a good insight on the japanese mafia world.
but really really gross with a slash across the face and chopped off hand.
and whatever other mutilations there are.

reached the chalet at 0030hrs.
dilly-dally and left for night cycling at 0120.
went to 85 market!! YAY!
just the thought of being so near to school just feels good!
memories of school floods back.
like how we used to have to climb stairs.
and the netball match after exams which got me burnt for the 1st time.
and the dessert time we used to have after our badminton training.

then we cycled back at 0250.
dropped by melissa's house for her to grab her goggles.
and finally reached the chalet at 0430.
woohoo! fulfilling!
makes me feel like going on a cycling trip in taiwan.

slept at 0500 and woke up at 0800 to bathe.
i was so shag. so after bath, i went back to sleep.
and woke up at 1000 to return the bikes.
after that it was wild wild wet!

that's where i got burnt super bad.
good thing i wasn't the only one burnt.
and becoz i was burnt and tired, i was kind grouchy.
but it's so good to soak in the pool.
the jacuzzi pool especially. but it became a playpool for kids in the end.

went back to the chalet at 1630 and slacked around.
i finally slept a bit at 1745 but woke up at 1800 coz elaine and xinru arrived.
and we had to go get stuff for the bbq.

the malay family beside us was quite nice.
the uncle came over and helped with fire starting. :D
he must be experienced.

finally i took a bath and watched some tv and finally left at 2300.
when i reached home it was already 2330.
when i finally hit the bed, it was already 0000 and i had to wake up at 0730.
zzz...
tired and burnt. NOT GOOD.

but for the sake of fun...
WHO CARES?!?! *shrugs*

SUCH IRRESPONSIBLE PERSONS

2009-04-15T20:50:00.002+08:00

it's very irritating to be working with irresponsible people.
not funny.
IT REALLY IS IRRITATING ME A LOT~!

it's ok to make mistakes.
but be responsible!
when you're supposed to do something, do it!
even if you might get it wrong the 1st or 2nd time!

is it really that hard?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

THE SHITTY ONE

2009-04-08T10:12:00.002+08:00

it seems like she's getting shittier day by day.
although it's true that the human heart is more to the left, but still!
it's only leaning slightly to the left, not totally on the left!!!

it's pretty obvious who are the responsible ones.
and it's also pretty obvious who are the act responsible ones too.
but well, love can be blind.
when a mother favours one more than the rest, it becomes damn apparent.
but the mother herself doesn't see it.

oh wells.

it's getting very very noisy.
i'm hating it.

SHOO GO AWAY

2009-04-06T11:27:00.003+08:00

i am not happy with certain persons.
they make me do throw face things.

blah.
the insecurity pang in me is acting up again.

what happens if all my friends get married except me?
then i'll be left all alone since they'll have their families to take care of.

what happens if i lose my job?
then where am i going to get my income from?
will i still be in contact with the colleagues here?

bleahZ~

THE NIGHT I LMAO

2009-03-31T10:05:00.003+08:00

ivy rocks!!!
she's so fun and sporting!!
explicit content... unsuitable for decent blogs like mine. :X

yesterday was a fei lun hai day.
pls don't be mistaken. i am NOT the fansee...
i'm just there to cou re nao. :X

they're nice ppl!
and da dong is cute! :D

沒特色, 沒氣質

2009-03-23T11:05:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder why people like pretty girls and handsome hunks when they're nothing but a pretty face.

they're of coz pleasant to the eyes.
but there's nothing special about them.
沒特色, 沒氣質...
just empty shells.
yet people like them.

hmm... that's very hard to understand.

戴爱玲 - 爱灵灵

2009-03-18T14:42:00.006+08:00

it's a great album! and i'm seriously considering getting the album.
her voice is undoubtedly a lot better than commercial singers.
for example, Jxxxx, Cxxxx, Rxxxxx (IMO)

空港 is so hurtful yet so determined.
feels like she threw in all her emotions from whatever past relationships she had.

爱灵灵 makes me think about the entire situation all over again.
her voice is so powerful and suited for this song.

千年之恋 came as quite a fresh song to me.
sung with Shin, i thot it was rock enough to be called great!
and Shin lost that screech in his voice, which i thot was good~

沸腾 is a wow song~ love and hate all in one song.
and with that powerful voice full of angst.
but i was a little irritated by the "ai ni ai ni ai ni ai ni......."
zzz...

晴空 sounds like a "thank you my friend" song.
so thank you friends who've always been with me~
love you all!!! :D

倒数 let's countdown!
together-gether song... :D

抢不走的梦想 is co-written by terry lee. woohoo!!
and i love the melody. and the lyrics, so meaningful!
my 2nd favourite song in this album.

白色谎言is going to be my favourite song of the album!
her voice and the arrangements. so perfectly together.
and the lyrics. hmm... reminds me of ai ni ai dao bu pa si... LOL!
but it's good!

一天一点 is a fall in love song.
very nice melody, and she sings it beautifully too.
i like~

I Will Smile is a duet with zhao yong hua.
long time ago can.
and it's so weird to hear a new voice with an old voice.
but after a while, it sounds like mother and daughter singing together.
mother telling her kid about how much love can hurt and consoling her.
and the best part, it's can sing + can sing.
unlike the jay chou/fei yu qing mismatch. LOL~

all in all, pls get the album.
4/5 stars!!! woohoo!

THANKS

2009-03-06T11:01:00.002+08:00

i have my friends to thank.

thanks for not giving me time to think.
thanks for making me laugh.
thanks for asking me for favours when i'm free.

it's not enough to help me forget..
but at least, it's enough to help me not think..

thanks.

the decision is final. it's the silliest thing to do but yes, it will continue.

OVERSPEND-ED

2009-03-02T17:10:00.002+08:00

this is a public announcement.

i will only spend $4-7 per day.
because i have been overspending for the past few months.
so it's a good idea to cut down on expenditure and buy things only when they're absolutely necessary for survival purposes.

eg. pretty new shoes because my shoe sole is worn out beyond imagination.
eg. pretty cutesy earrings to match new shoes so that i won't look too kuku.
eg. pretty hat to go with the entire outfit to give me confidence to face the everyday life.

NO! it should be...

eg. comfortable shoes for walking so that i can walk home and save on public transport.
eg. look good ear studs so that it won't dangle around and irritate me.
eg. huge straw hat to keep out the sun and rain.

ah... that sounds more correct.

no lah~ bluff you de... HAHAHAHA...
but it's true i'm really spending only $4-7 per day...
of coz if i can spend lesser, even better...

INCONSIDERATE LUNCH-TIME IDIOTS

2009-02-24T15:35:00.002+08:00

that WAS the 721 post.

ok, that's random.

i'm quite pissed off for a couple of reasons.

1. SOME IDIOT WHO KEEPS WHINING, AT THE AGE OF 80.
can't stand him!!
it's not as if his boss will kill him or skin him alive.
and it's not as if the boss is so free to do that.
it's just a freaking email, WHAT THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM?!?!

2. SOME INCONSIDERATE IDIOT(S) DURING LUNCH HOURS.
if you're done eating, pls leave.
it's not like it's 3pm in the afternoon, where no one goes out for lunch.
it's freaking 12noon where everyone is having their lunch!
so pls don't be an idiot to ta bao your food, and still sit at the table to finish drinking your juice (which is also ta bao-ed).
and.
if your drink is bottled and your food is finished, there shouldn't be much of a problem going elsewhere.

and there's these group of people, who'll just sit around with one sip of coffee left in their cups.
and refuse to move their ass even when there's another 10 groups of people standing around waiting for a table!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!

and another kind of lunch-time idiots are those who knows people are waiting for table.
but they'll only move off when the waiting people have already found another table.
is it really that fun to be doing this kind of things?!?!
we're all living things, we need food! we do not have chrophyll! we do not photosynthesize!!
especially when you're upper management, you want your subs to work, but you're not giving them a place to sit an eat?!?!
HELLLLLOOOOO......
if you really need to hold discussions, there's such things in this building called "MEETING ROOM". it's FOC btw, so you just have to book it.

this list can just go on and on...

DAMN I HATE INCONSIDERATE LUNCH-TIME IDIOTS!

FOR EXAMPLE

2009-02-11T10:11:00.002+08:00

it's just's wrong to get me irritated early in the morning.
coz everything after morning irritation will irritate me as well.

for example, when i'm super broke and still have to save money, don't say you wanna go "lo hei".
coz to me, it's just a sheer waste of money.
i don't fancy lo hei coz it makes my hand, sometimes arm dirty.
and it's just vegetables yet they're selling at $88 per plate.
and i DO NOT eat raw food.
that includes vegetables, btw.

and after it's being called off, there's really not much of a point of saying unnecessary stuff.
for example, it's a global recession and everyone has to save and spend their money wisely.
makes you sound damn stupid becoz you know but you still do.

oh, the best thing is pushing blame to someone who's not even around in office.
for example, she was the one who suggested, but says it's actually the higher power who wants it.
yah right, as if i'll believe you when the higher power wasn't around in office THE ENTIRE DAY?!

wow. that was quite ultimate.

alright. we booked our tix to taiwan~!!!! YAY!!!
but.
now, i have a problem.
i need money, but i don't have much to save.
die lah~

NEGLECTED & ABANDONED

2009-02-05T18:37:00.003+08:00

the office is now filled with people i like.
not all, but many.
so i'm happy there and don't feel like quitting anymore.

the sec sch mates are still with me.
the poly mates are still talking fine.

but yet, with all these people around me, my friends, i still feel this strong sense of neglect and abandonment.

WHY???!!!

i'm not neglected, neither am i abandoned.
but that's what i feel.
is it becoz of my constant insecurity?
maybe not, this time it's far too strong.

like everyone turned their backs on me.
really EVERYONE.
how am i to survive with this kind of emotions within me?!?!

this is bad... caryn... VERY VERY BAD.

IF THE BEST FRIEND IS MEAN

2009-01-28T00:37:00.002+08:00

if your best friend is mean to you, how would you react?
be mean back? or just keep quiet about it?

her best friend was mean to her.
she was mean back.
they ended up quarreling.

if her best friend wasn't mean, she might not have bitten him.
if she hadn't bite back, they might not have quarreled.

no one's right, no one's wrong either, right?

put me in her shoes.
i'd have kept quiet when he was mean.
but i'd remember it for the rest of my life.

which is better?

put me in his shoes.
since everyone's already leaving because of me, then just shuddup about it.
but reluctantly.

again, which is better?

the way she and i handle friendships is quite the same.
we're both stubborn and refuse to give in.
the only difference is the way we show our stubbornness.

CNY.

HAPPY CNY!!

2009-01-26T21:34:00.002+08:00

big news!
I PERMED MY HAIR.

now i have some curls.
and i'm not very used to it yet.
but then again, i don't want them to become straight again too soon.

like duh.
i spent quite a bit on it!
and the evil peihui says she's going to laugh at me...
boo...

CNY is yay!
ang baos and goodies.
:D
YAY!

but it's all about gambling and mahjong too.
not my favourite thing to do.
but oh wells. it's CNY.

ah... and i'm glad i have the entire week off.
finally some time off to take a good rest.
after CNY, it's the travel fair period.
and i'll be dying once again when all the travel companies come in.

STILL, HAPPY CNY EVERYONE!!

THE CHALET

2009-01-19T14:35:00.002+08:00

i loved the chalet!!
nono... not the place totally, but the company!
:D
let's do it again!!

peihui became our official 諧星...
but she don't know what's that!
read this: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

the bbq was good!
and i hate preparing food. ><
the otak was horrible horrible horrible.
and i like starting fire. :D

and thanks to the very kind people who helped me collect my goodie bag!
:D

oh well, happy times will have to come to an end.
and here we all are back in office.

and guess what?
I'M SO PROUD OF ALL OF US!!!
NO MC!!! WHEEE~~~~

I AM OFFICIALLY 22

2009-01-13T16:35:00.002+08:00

i turn 22 today!

22!!

sian!!!

and i lost my fave pair of earrings!!!!

shit!!!!!

ok. calm down.

thanks my dear colleagues who bought me a birthday present!! :D
frankly, they're more like my best friends than my best friends.
and i'm so glad i have them with me. :D

maybe, i won't leave my job after all.
i can't bear to leave them.
it's quite frightening...
like what happens if i leave?

would they forget me?
i wouldn't be included in the chalets and outings and food fests?
:(

so i don't wanna change anything right now.
i just want them with me.
so, leaving my job now is not an option.

times are bad too. so it's not a good idea to be leaving.
oh wells.

相處容易同住難

2009-01-12T17:56:00.001+08:00

there's always a possibility of ruining a friendship.
or relationship of any sorts for that matter.

best friends might become enemies overnight.
that's why we have the saying 相處容易同住難.
and that's why the arguments and quarrels and even break ups might happen.

so does that mean, newly-weds should not go for honeymoon?
or even, should they not even live together?

hmm...

CHANGE...OVER!

2009-01-12T14:36:00.002+08:00

last post: 2 jan.
today: 12 jan.

10 freaking days of not blogging.

that's quite a long time!

anyway, i'm going to change shenmetaidu into caryndidi and caryndidi into shenmetaidu.

LOL! so don't be too shocked when there's a new layout coming~
new year, new look.

hehe...

2008

2009-01-02T09:48:00.002+08:00

another year passed. which means we're getting older.
SHIT. don't you just wish we're all still sweet 16?

ok. recap.

there's not much that i rmbr really.

the more significant events are:

1. cold war with friend.
2. energy comes and kk became photographer.
3. allies and enemies within the dept.
4. big news breaks.
5. the all-important taiwan trip.
6. cold war stops.
7. plans for chalet.
8. energy's new book 另類人生.
9. my david attenborough craze.
10. I'M STILL IN MEDIACORP.

ok. recap done.

anyway people, my birthday is coming.
so as usual, instead of buying something i don't like/want,

PLS GET ME SOME ATTENBOROUGH DOCUMENTARIES!!!!

and i'm not celebrating my birthday.
don't wanna be reminded i'm 22 already.

THE 10 PEOPLE

2008-12-29T13:27:00.002+08:00

DO NOT READ THE ENTIRE THING!!! JUST QUICKLY COPY AND PASTE.
Name 10 people you can think of right off the top of your head.
Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 10 people.
This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.Nocheating.

1. Celia
2. Chris
3. Nina
4. Rachel
5. KK
6. Peihui
7. Melissa
8. Pauline
9. Lihui
10. Eva

1.How did you meet number 4?
in school. sec 1K.

2.Do you have a crush on anyone up there?
er... nope.

3.What would you do if you hadn't met number 1?
hmm... i wouldn't become a groupie. LOL!

4.What would you do if 6 and 2 were going out?
go out with them!! :D

5.How did you meet number 8?
at mediacorp.

6.Is number 2 one of your best friends?
yep~

7.Whose number 9's best friend(s)?
not sure about their names. erm... crystal?

8.Have you ever dated number 1?
>.< no.

9.Do you miss number 4?
yeah, a little.

10.What do you think of number 6?
the next ah lian!

11.What do you think of number 7?
she's a talker.

12.Who does number 3 like?
don't know. no names mentioned. >.<

13.Have you ever been inside number 8's house?
nope~

14.Do you love number 9?
great girl!! :D

15.Ever been in the same bed as any of the numbers?
er... a few of them. chalet bed.

16.What about no. 5?
the photographer.

17.Number 10?
fellow capricorn

18.Do you trust these people?
generally. :)

A NEW BLOG

2008-12-22T22:14:00.001+08:00

i opened a new blog.

and i guess that url is not much of a surprise.

:D

ATTN: KWOK PEI HUI

2008-12-18T14:49:00.002+08:00

Dear Pei Hui,

It pains me to tell you this.
But I still have to tell you.

Everything about 12.12.08 was a joke.
It was purely meant to make you not take long breaks.
Which in other words, you're not allowed rest.

You'll probably feel like killing us.
But, we still owe you money, so killing us will do you no good.

Cheers! :D

Yours truly,
Caryn

YAY

2008-12-14T21:33:00.001+08:00

congratulate me.
i forgot the lyrics.
YAY~

40-50 ppl will get thru.
out of maybe a few hundred people.
YAY~

met a AHS person there.
but i don't think i remember him.
YAY~

oh wells.
i need 10,000 buckets of four leave clovers to get thru.
YAY~

THE TAROT READING

2008-12-09T11:58:00.002+08:00

ah~~ it's definitely more comfortable without the boss around.
oh well~

I BOUGHT A NEW WALLET!
YAY!!

but it's damn expensive.
but then again. it's jimmy so i'll pay.

haven't officially used it yet.

anyway, the tarot card thingy in i-weekly.
damn accurate for me.

yes yes.. i know it's definitely better to forget the old one.
but the old one is so unforgettable.
and there's no new one coming along.
even if there's a new one coming along, i'm too used to the old one.

hmm... come to think of it, hey, there might just be a new one.
*winks*
but not a very healthy new one either. LOL!
so it doesn't make much of a difference, old or new.

this is bad.
bad bad bad.

RACHEL'S BIRTHDAY

2008-12-08T21:09:00.002+08:00

5 dec's rachel's birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL!!!

damn busy!
21 stuff to get. and we didn't manage to get the 21st.
blah.

finally got to bistro thanks to fiona's friend.
otherwise the presents and i would be drenched.

it's been such a long time!
ningxi never changed much with her loud voice.
hehe~~
and sara and her boyfriend dennis. :D

the buffet was good. :)
and i liked the service.

today was kbox day with rachel.
OMG~ my voice is chui.
and the auditions is on sunday.

this is bad.
haven't chosen a suitable song.
voice is chui.
no time to practice.
DIE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS

2008-12-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

chris's birthday today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

let's set the story right from the beginning.
was supposed to meet fiona to look for rachel and nina's present.
but it's chris's birthday.
so being a friend, celebrating a friend's birthday is one of the most important things especially if the friend asked.

so i had to rearrange with fiona and get off work to celebrate.
the lie became truth. once again.
i went to the doc's and she said i have a throat infection. inflamed.
which basically means sore throat.
and she gave me 2 days MC. hehe...

so after lunch and drowsy medicine, i went out to meet chris.
waited for his friend, luke, before going to kbox.
YAY! it's been some time since we sang!
haha... sore throat still can sing. i must be out of my mind.. haha...

the next part of the day, got me very very pissed although it's not really my problem.
we were supposed to meet celia for dinner.
we already said we'll meet her at novena.
but we left at 6.30pm, which is the time she gets of work.
but we were still at city at 6.30pm.

lemme ask which is nearer..
city hall to novena OR city hall to woodlands.

even idiots will say CITY HALL TO NOVENA RIGHT?!

but she refuse to wait at novena.
and wanna wait at woodlands.
so i told her waiting at novena would be nearer...
but she still insisted to wait at woodlands.
and here's the catch: if she has to wait too long, she'll just go home.

WHAT THE HELL?!

how does that make you feel?
if it's me, i'll be damn fucking pissed!
which is why i got fucking angry at her!
and i threw my temper on chris's birthday!
SORRY ABOUT IT, CHRIS!

if i were put in this situation, this is what i'd think:
- if you're not interested in celebrating my birthday, just tell me.i won't force you to go.
- but if we were already discussing where to meet, i will take it as the celebration is confirmed. which i suppose is what a NORMAL person will think.
- tired is not a fucking excuse. even if i have to go 48 hours without sleep, had drowsy medicine and still worked the entire day, I WILL STILL GO FOR A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION. if i'm not going, I WILL INFORM A DAY BEFORE!
- don't fucking say not celebrating with me (last min) doesn't mean you're not important. because by flying aeroplane on me last min is the EXACT THING that makes me feel very very very unimportant and hurt.

which is why i have decided to ask, but not carry any hopes of my jie jie celebrating my birthday with me.
maybe i shouldn't even ask.

i apologized to her because technically, it has nothing to do with me.
just helping him vent anger with my own point of view.
maybe it was ok, maybe it's totally unnecessary, but heck.
just couldn't take it lying down.

my day generally was great.. hehe~~ :D

NEW BLOGSKIN COMING SOON

2008-11-29T13:19:00.002+08:00

i'm working on my new blog skin now.
it's going to be the simplest of all blogskins that i used to have.
and i'm so looking forward to it!

thanks pH for your help~

oh. and i love dynamic drive.
although there's still quite a whole lot of things i want but can't find.
oh wells, i'll search harder...

now. i'm considering whether to move my blog.
or should i just copy and paste the entire template into this blog.
hmm...
maybe i should move it to caryndidi.blogspot.com since it's MY blog.
but... i love shenmetaidu!

like... WHAT'S WITH THAT FUCKING ATTITUDE?!

haha... so filled with arrogance and despise.
but that's what i like.

DENG DAI

2008-11-25T09:55:00.003+08:00

hui dao le groupie de shi guang.
jiu zai na yi shun jian, wo you zai yi ci ai shang na zhong sheng huo.
wei ta men dong ben xi pao, wei ta men ren shou man chang de deng dai.
yi qie dou yin wei ta men.

dui wo lai shuo, qi shi, bu ying gai shi ta men ba.
wo zhi wei le ta.
yi zhi cong yuan chu kan zhe ta, jin ju li que bu kan ta.
dan zai na liang tian de shi jian li, wo jue de wo shi yong you ta de.

na shi de wo, shi xing fu de.

yi qie guo qu de zhen kuai, tian xia wu bu san zhi yan xi.
wo men zhong jiu dei fen kai.
ji tian xia lai de xiang chu, tu ran jiu jie shu le.
na zhong shuo ye shuo bu chu de kong xu he luo mo, qi shi zhen de hen cheng zhong, hen shang.

ta yao hui jia le.
ta yao hui qu yi ge rang ta hen xing fu de jia le.
er wo, zhi neng yong zhe zhong kong xu ba ta song zou, zi ji shou zai zhe li.
shou dao ta hui lai de na tian.

zhen de hen bu she de.
mei tian wei ta men mang mang lu lu, dong ben xi pao.
san can chi bu bao, shui ye shui bu hao, ren ye xiao shou le, qiao cui le.
ke shi wu yuan wu hui, jiu zhe yang jin qing de xiang shou.

zhe duan ri zi guo de tai chong shi.
xian de jie xia lai de ri zi tai fa wei.
you shi ling yi duan deng dai de kai shi.
deng zhe ta you zai ci shu yu wo...

MY MY

2008-11-21T16:04:00.002+08:00

if you think things will go perfectly fine doing it your way, by all means, go ahead.
but it might just backfire if you become too provocative.
i might bite you for all you know.
of coz not literally for i do not wish to taste the salt on your skin.

would it be better if each did things our own ways?
actually, i think it might be.
we're just too different to be able to compromise too much.
suddenly, everything seems easier if we left it as what it was before.

the grudge, hatred and suspicion is already pressed into our hearts.
it's difficult to remove it. and stain removers do not work in this case.
maybe it's ok to try, but it might just prove too much to bear
when that time comes, maybe we should all give it up and go back to what we were.

i'm now ok with the idea of trying to make things work.
but of coz i do not enjoy any form of provocation.
so pls do not go too far.
push it just enough to make me rebutt is slightly more than enough.

although everything is not about me, it is about someone great.
and i'm willing to stick it out till the end of everything.
of coz peace would be the best option.
so hopefully, these provocations will cease.

oh wells.